One of those days.

It's just one of them days,
When I wanna be all alone.
Its just one of them days,
When I gotta be all alone.
It's just one of them days,
Don't take it personal.
I just wanna be all alone,
and you think I treat you wrong.

I wanna take some time out to think things through.
I know it always feels like im doing you wrong but I'm so in love with you.
So understand that I'm only in love,
You're the only one I need.
So have no thought that i want to leave
And baby trust me please.

It's just one of those days that a girl goes through
When I'm angry inside,
Don't wanna take it out on you.
Just one of them things.
Don't take it personal.
I just wanna be all alone
And I you think I treat you wrong.
Don't take it personal
Baby, baby, baby, baby, baby.
Don't take it personal.




So true. Good song Monica, you sang it right girl friend! haha
It's just been one of those kind of days for me. Everything has been going wrong today. Every tiny little thing that could happen has.

BD didn't go to work today... but he didn't stay home either. Odd. He didn't tell me he wasn't at work until I called him at 11:30am. Odd. Right? So I am not sure how to handle that situation. In my opinion he lied to me. I was trusting he was at work..... I am not sure how to think. So then I get upset about that. On top of yesterdays issue of pissing me off, now I am mad times twenty. He skipped work to go hang out with his brother, and play Tennis.... I have been begging to go play tennis with Rafal since we met. I will swear to that. So it's like this weekend isn't about our family its about his family. When you "marry" someone your NEW family takes priority. We should be a team. He should not be ditching work to hang out with his brother. He will be with him every day this weekend. We aren't going to see him REALLY until Sunday night.

I hate the thoughts I have.... Like "One day, when I am working and have money I will do this same stuff to him. Just take off in my car early in the morning and spend all day at the beach while he is stuck here with Dylan." or "Just wait until I have a job, and I am out of the house and meeting cool new people. Then when I get invited to Halloween parties and no one can babysit, you can be stuck with him... wondering what I am doing all night with out you." I hate that I am thinking like that. I am a grown woman, I shouldn't be thinking about getting back at him. I should be thinking of ways to grow from this, and better MYSELF. Instead I can't help but think about stooping to his level. I love Dylan too much to stick him with his father in such a rude manner. But seriously when do I get a break. Or more than that, when do I get that kind of attention. He thinks going to work every day is all the attention I need from him. He thinks that since he works "FOR ME" [thats what he always says] I shouldn't need any real attention from him. We went to see a movie two weeks ago, first time in... a year at least. His family lives here and can watch Dylan from time to time as well as my parents. But he never wants to waste money on us doing anything when we could stay home and ... weeee ... watch TV. Instead, he goes Kayaking with his brother, Golfing with his brother, Paint balling with his brother, they play Tennis and go to Halloween parties. What do Rafal and I do?

We..... wake up. He works. I take care of Dylan and the house. He comes home to cooked dinner, and then he watches TV or sits at the computer. Dylan gets a bath and goes to bed. Then we stare at the TV until he needs to fall asleep because he has work early. He says he wants to do all of this fun stuff, but obviously not with me.

I hope he gets home in time for this thing at the church tonight. He was supposed to be home at noon from work, then we were going to help a friend of ours move and then have dinner at Sweet Tomatos, got a buy one get one free coupon in my email! Yay! But in order to get there and to church on time we would need to be eating at 6pm. I just text him to see if he could please be home before 6... Lets see how that goes. I need more attention. He just doesn't get it.

He called me a control freak earlier. Because I don't want him going out to a party on Halloween night AND because I got upset that he lied about being at work today. I am the control freak.

Dylan is asleep thank the Lord.

My mom is awesome, she called and let me vent. Woohoo. Rafal just text me back finally, said he would try to get here in time, but the tire guy stood him up, so he is trying to find another tire somewhere else. I said come home, you have all weekend with your brother already planned out, and the tire isn't important. So he said ok. This makes me sick.

He skipped work today, to hang with his brother. Tomorrow morning I wanted to take Dylan to this fun Halloween thing, which I still will, I was just hoping if Rafal was going to skip a day of work maybe he would pick tomorrow instead of today.

I need to go take a shower while the monster is sleeping. He has kept me on my toes all day. Im stinky haha