One of those days.

It's just one of them days,
When I wanna be all alone.
Its just one of them days,
When I gotta be all alone.
It's just one of them days,
Don't take it personal.
I just wanna be all alone,
and you think I treat you wrong.

I wanna take some time out to think things through.
I know it always feels like im doing you wrong but I'm so in love with you.
So understand that I'm only in love,
You're the only one I need.
So have no thought that i want to leave
And baby trust me please.

It's just one of those days that a girl goes through
When I'm angry inside,
Don't wanna take it out on you.
Just one of them things.
Don't take it personal.
I just wanna be all alone
And I you think I treat you wrong.
Don't take it personal
Baby, baby, baby, baby, baby.
Don't take it personal.




So true. Good song Monica, you sang it right girl friend! haha
It's just been one of those kind of days for me. Everything has been going wrong today. Every tiny little thing that could happen has.

BD didn't go to work today... but he didn't stay home either. Odd. He didn't tell me he wasn't at work until I called him at 11:30am. Odd. Right? So I am not sure how to handle that situation. In my opinion he lied to me. I was trusting he was at work..... I am not sure how to think. So then I get upset about that. On top of yesterdays issue of pissing me off, now I am mad times twenty. He skipped work to go hang out with his brother, and play Tennis.... I have been begging to go play tennis with Rafal since we met. I will swear to that. So it's like this weekend isn't about our family its about his family. When you "marry" someone your NEW family takes priority. We should be a team. He should not be ditching work to hang out with his brother. He will be with him every day this weekend. We aren't going to see him REALLY until Sunday night.

I hate the thoughts I have.... Like "One day, when I am working and have money I will do this same stuff to him. Just take off in my car early in the morning and spend all day at the beach while he is stuck here with Dylan." or "Just wait until I have a job, and I am out of the house and meeting cool new people. Then when I get invited to Halloween parties and no one can babysit, you can be stuck with him... wondering what I am doing all night with out you." I hate that I am thinking like that. I am a grown woman, I shouldn't be thinking about getting back at him. I should be thinking of ways to grow from this, and better MYSELF. Instead I can't help but think about stooping to his level. I love Dylan too much to stick him with his father in such a rude manner. But seriously when do I get a break. Or more than that, when do I get that kind of attention. He thinks going to work every day is all the attention I need from him. He thinks that since he works "FOR ME" [thats what he always says] I shouldn't need any real attention from him. We went to see a movie two weeks ago, first time in... a year at least. His family lives here and can watch Dylan from time to time as well as my parents. But he never wants to waste money on us doing anything when we could stay home and ... weeee ... watch TV. Instead, he goes Kayaking with his brother, Golfing with his brother, Paint balling with his brother, they play Tennis and go to Halloween parties. What do Rafal and I do?

We..... wake up. He works. I take care of Dylan and the house. He comes home to cooked dinner, and then he watches TV or sits at the computer. Dylan gets a bath and goes to bed. Then we stare at the TV until he needs to fall asleep because he has work early. He says he wants to do all of this fun stuff, but obviously not with me.

I hope he gets home in time for this thing at the church tonight. He was supposed to be home at noon from work, then we were going to help a friend of ours move and then have dinner at Sweet Tomatos, got a buy one get one free coupon in my email! Yay! But in order to get there and to church on time we would need to be eating at 6pm. I just text him to see if he could please be home before 6... Lets see how that goes. I need more attention. He just doesn't get it.

He called me a control freak earlier. Because I don't want him going out to a party on Halloween night AND because I got upset that he lied about being at work today. I am the control freak.

Dylan is asleep thank the Lord.

My mom is awesome, she called and let me vent. Woohoo. Rafal just text me back finally, said he would try to get here in time, but the tire guy stood him up, so he is trying to find another tire somewhere else. I said come home, you have all weekend with your brother already planned out, and the tire isn't important. So he said ok. This makes me sick.

He skipped work today, to hang with his brother. Tomorrow morning I wanted to take Dylan to this fun Halloween thing, which I still will, I was just hoping if Rafal was going to skip a day of work maybe he would pick tomorrow instead of today.

I need to go take a shower while the monster is sleeping. He has kept me on my toes all day. Im stinky haha

Time with Your Family

I am having a really rough day. Hormones? Maybe, but I doubt it. Just life throwing me a curve ball.

I need to be the bigger person and apologize for something I didn't even do, just to make things right. If we keep this war up it could go on forever.

I got a cool email today though that made me happy.... This link was in it.

Time with Your Family

Check it out :)

Would you let your boyfriend go out on Halloween...

... with out you?

Seriously. With the trampy costumes. And the skanks out that night. Its like the worst temptation night in the world.

BD comes home from work and says like its no biggie
"Sunday we're gonna go paint balling ya know, so my brother said I could come over Saturday night and crash there. Probably go out or something too."

Saturday night is Halloween I say. And hes like I know, we'll go trick'r'treating and then I will just go over there.

Wtf.

Is my input not needed?

I'm infuriated.
I keep praying for strength.
& it keeps coming and going.

Guess Dyl & I will be on our Saturday night. Fml. I wish I got to go out on Halloween with MY friends. He doesn't think about what if I said to him Im doing this on this night, and I assume your staying home with Dylan. SO hah! He'd FLIP out!

Input ladies PLEASE...


How should I handle this? I hate that he KNOWS I am always going to stay home with Dylan. I am half tempted to hire a sitter out of my own pocket and go do my own thing. This is ridiculous that I am even having to write this blog. He should be staying at home on that night with me and Dylan. Then Sunday night (his brothers REAL bday) he can go out.

He isn't in college. He isn't single. AND I am his girlfriend. Yeah his brothers WIFE gets to go.... so heres my thought::

Rafal should find a babysitter and say baby, Saturday night I got us a sitter so we can go out with my brother and his wife for his birthday.



ugh. God help me not be so upset.

Eeek! October 28th! What?!

As I type Dylan is trying to put his shoes on his dolls feet and BoBo is making sure that won't happen by licking Dylans face non stop! These two are too much. They just took off running down the hall way.

I can't believe how busy I have been these past few days since I was last able to blog! Dylan is completely back to normal on the being sick scale. Hes acting like nothing was ever wrong! He has been pooping AND peeing on the potty like no bodies business! So proud of my little man growing up so fast. As for pooping and peeing, well BoBo is still having issues!

I just want to throw out there that I am by no means a spiritual person. I don't pray every day to God, or the Lord or any one for that matter. I am not even sure I am positive he exists BUT I do have a higher power, I mean every one should. Some one is up there watching out for us and keeping a close eye on our journeys, there is no doubt in my mind about that. So with that in mind. We went to church two weeks ago. By fate. God wanted us in church and he sent an Angel and she said "Go to church tomorrow!" and we did. And WOW! It has opened my eyes to a different life. We have gone two Sundays in a row now. Loved it more this second time around but either way its a blast. This last day was about giving ALL your worries to God. Well lets say I decided to practice that this week. Let me tell you about ALL of the amazing things that have happened this week since Sunday. I was offered a job opportunity, designing a web page for a local Montessori school. They are going to pay me with TWO FREE MONTHS OF CHILD CARE!!! Not only that, wait, it gets better. They need a tile guy to barter with as well. Owner says if you know any one with that skill that needs child care pass them my way. DO I KNOW ANY ONE?!?! That's only BD's actualy profession! YES I KNOW SOME ONE! So here's the best part. Rafal went in yesterday and took the measurements... got the job for sure. The owner just has to get the tile and grout which I am working on finding him a great deal.... For the tile work AND the web page.... ONE FREE YEAR OF DAY CARE AT A MONTESSORI SCHOOL!! Tell me God doesn't exist. My worries have been about school. I start in January. But we can't afford child care. $170 a week is more than we pay in rent! So I was going to have to get a night job to make some extra income to save up until then. Well NOW I won't even have to get that darn night job. I am so blessed. I will get to stay home with Dylan until January. Then get to go to school every day with no worries about who my son is with. He will be there from 7:30am until 6pm every day making friends and playing with his buddies! I will have time to get home work done and the house cleaning taken care of before every one gets home. I will graduate in MAY with a license in Massage Therapy, and still have 7 MONTHS of FREE child care left, to then MAKE MONEY to pay off my bad credit. Our lease at the dump is up in June and we will be able to get a decent place with two incomes.

God is blessing my family so much.

Rafal's work schedule is full right now, which means rent will be paid on time AGAIN. Bills are all about to get shut off, but thats ok, he gets paid again soon enough and we can get it all back on. Two incomes will be amazing. We won't know what to do with ourselves. Those people complaining about their $25K jobs can bite me! We live on $15K and MAKE it JUST FINE! When I alone am making the $25K from MT it will blow us away. When you learn to live on $150 a week..... then you move up to having $700 a week. Life is good.


Life is good.
God is good.
I am new to this whole God-ly thing but I am a believer.


I don't even want to complain about BD and his annoying behavior yesterday while he had his day off. Lets say I went crazy a few times, and yelled a little about how I needed his help on his days off. I didn't sit down from 8am when Dylan got me up until 9:30pm when he went to bed last night. Talk about a long day.

Well Dylan was just trying to pull me away from the computer, so thats my que, I need to get going. Hope every one had a safe weekend, and a great start to their week! Last week of October is already here. Clocks fall back this weekend AND a new month begins with next week! Happy Halloween!

Thank God for Publix!

Seriously. No joke. Thank GOD for Publix and their FREE antibiotics!

This whole situation began last week when Dylan was horribly sick and we went to the hospital. They prescribed him with amoxicillin. It was like 11:50pm when we were discharged and told to fill it asap.... We are poor, no I don't want a pity party, but its the truth. We had no gas, no money, and were afraid it was going to be expensive! So we take it to Walgreens, they wanted to charge us $38.50!!! AHHH!!! They said it was more expensive because it was a liquid for a child. I was so embarrassed that we couldn't get him his medicine. The next day I called his doctor to tell them about the ER visit, and they said "Call Publix. They have FREE antibiotics!" So I did. And sure enough they did! My mom had told me in the past but I assumed only for adult pills, but when I called Publix Pharmacy the woman said "Oh no honey! Its all free any form!"

Holy crap! Yay! So the very next day we ran to Publix and got it filled! The troublesome part is getting his to swallow it all. It smells like it must taste pretty good.... But he throws the biggest fit! Flailing his arms and kicking his legs for about 5 minutes. Then all of a sudden he will stop fighting and just drink it right out of the serenge! How can I cut the fighting out and just skip right to the happy baby taking his medicine like a good little boy?! Tricks any one? Doctor said to mix it is juice, we tried, he gagged and then wouldn't drink juice the rest of the day. It is stressful and difficult. He still has 6 more days of it too!

This morning was a GREAT morning at Church. We were about 15mins late, but it was no biggie! Got Dylan in to the day care center and sat down just in time to here Pastor Jim start talking. Don't worry about anything, he says. Give the Lord all of your worries and rejoice and be happy! Ok, well here goes nothing God.... :) This week I will try to live my life in that light. See if it goes any better.

Ugh annoying "hot" mom across the hallway is driving me bananas. From far away she looks gorgeous. But as soon as she opens her mouth you wana shoot yourself in the foot. She looks like and pretty.... but she whines SO much and sounds like a man with her raspy voice. Her voice wouldn't bother me if she spoke like an adult. She has a baby for crying out loud! Grow up! I just heard her say to her husband/boyfriend/whoever he is.... "Buuuuut I wana go to Bed Bath and Beyooooooond... Whyyyyy is that sooooo much to assssssk?! I waaaaant threeeeeee thinnnngs!!!" Ahhhh! Shut your pie hole! If this dog starts barking again because of you and wakes Dylan up we will have harsh words. I was here first. haha

Sorry. PMS'ing anyone??

Lasagna for dinner tonight. Favorite.
Made Shepards Pie last night. Thats BD's favvvvorite ever.

Took pictures with Aloha Photography today. Sean was his name. Did a great shoot! Can't wait to see the proofs maybe tonight?! Yay!